Friday, April 30, 2010

Caught Up With Complaining Co-Workers

We all have them--complaining co-workers. We see them every morning, exchange pleasantries, check with one another on various facts and issues, and very often we listen to them drone on and on about whatever injustice has currently victimized them. I'm sure we are all guilty to an extent of doing some complaining at work--(this blog is full of complaints!). But listening to chronic, intense complaining is exhausting, draining, and detrimental.
Maybe you have to sit in the cubicle next to these complainers or work together at a counter or receptionist's desk. How do you get through the 8 hour (or more) workday without covering your ears and running out the door? There is no perfect answer, but there are some tactics that can be used to at least reduce the amount of time that you hear the droning. We all have different work dynamics, some of us have our own desk areas, some have to work together in a tiny little room facing each other all day. If you are in the tiny little room crowd, there is not much that can be done beyond forcing yourself to zone out. In some workplaces, if you are not on the front lines of customer service, the boss may not mind if you listen to an iPod while sitting at your computer--this would immediately solve your problem. For the rest of us, we will never completely escape the waves of complaining unless we search for employment elsewhere (and then there will be a whole new crop of culprits to contend with.)
I have discovered that if you are in a position to walk away from a group of complainers and return to your own work area, that this is the best strategy. If the complaining reaches your limit you can say, "please excuse me, I just realized I forgot to send an important e-mail." The group will barely notice that you ducked out because they are basking in complaining and will not be fazed by your departure.
If you are trapped with the complainers, your best bet is to figure out a way to tolerate it and/or change the subject in between your breaks. Keep yourself busy and focused and don't feed into their complaining by giving them more material with which to work. If all they get from you is "yes I understand what you are saying" or "I can see why that bothered you" then you are not adding fuel to the flames of their complaints. It is also best to try and change subject as often as possible. Keep your conversation starters positive, even if it is about things as mundane as pleasant weather. If the complaining reaches points that make you uncomfortable, a blank look and shrug of the shoulders with a "I know, it's par for the course, what can ya do" while you look back at your computer screen can help the complaining stall out.
The most important thing is that you take care of yourself in these dynamics. Take every break to which you are entitled in its entirety. Try to eat lunch OUT of the office and if you eat in a lunch room, try to seat yourself away from the complainers. These chunks of time away from those that are draining you are very important as they will give you the energy you need to be in their company for the other hours of your shift.
Obviously if issues with co-workers reach a level that is intolerable or harassing, it is time to speak with your supervisor or human resources. It is the job of those in charge to set the tone and mood for a workplace environment, including discouraging too much idle chit chat, which is the breeding ground for complaining.

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