Dodging Dopey Questions

Have you ever been at a family gathering and Uncle Bob or Grandpa Joe says "so when you gettin' a job?" even though you have told each of them fifteen times that you are in school, student teaching or been sending out resumes? It's always fun when Aunt Wendy reminds you that you aren't married. She isn't interested in anything else about your life--couldn't tell you where you work, the name of your best friend, or what type of books you like to read, yet she feels it is her job to inform you that you are unmarried (in front of your boyfriend/girlfriend). Look, you are not going to change these people. These are their social skills (or lack thereof). They have been wired to move about the room in this way, it builds them up to point out your "weaknesses" and it builds them up to feel like they are working the crowd, spewing acidic jokes and putting you in your place. We all have fantasies of slamming down our soda can, standing up and saying "look Grandpa Joe, it is really rude and insulting for you to ask that question, why don't you try getting to know something else about me?!" But, there are repercussions for an outburst like this. Perhaps you have a really good relationship with Uncle Bob's wife (your aunt) or Aunt Wendy's daughter (your cousin) and to scream at this individual will now possibly sour the more cherished relationship. The adult, and more difficult route is either to answer the question with a question:
Grandpa Joe: "When ya gettin' a job?"
You: "How's your job [golf game, wine tasting] going Grandpa?"
or with a quick answer and jump to a new topic: "I'm working on it. I saw a great movie the other night..."
While the urge to "tell off" a relative who uses you as the butt of a joke or who consistently finds a sensitive topic to "jab" you with, think about relatives that do not receive these questions. Observe their demeanor at family gatherings. Is there a reason that they seem immune to Grandpa Joe's questioning? Perhaps they emote a strong confidence that Uncle Bob knows he can't break through. Maybe he knows he won't get a reaction out of them, so he doesn't bother. The only thing you can control is how you handle the barbs. Be clever, yet respectful. While they are disrespecting you, do not bring yourself down to that level. If none of that works, just wrap up the interaction asap and make sure you seat yourself away from these individuals for the rest of the evening.